8 months ago..... and i am still thinking about it

puella magi madoka magica (pmmm) is in a category i call "anime i watched as a kid because it was on netflix" (this included baka and test, elfen lied, black butler). like with most things from childhood, you can never attest to their quality until you're older. was it peak or was it complete garbage? it makes revisiting these things sort of nerve-racking because to tarnish something you held dearly as a kid is just sad. but sometimes you have to go back and see for yourself what exactly you had spent your childhood doing ...

i was happy to find out that madoka is amazing and deserving of the adoration it receives to this day. there are so many good elements in it: intriguing worldbuilding, good story, beautiful art direction, amazing soundtrack. childhood saved. for now

since this was a rewatch, it had the gratifying layer of seeing from the perspective of the entirety. my favorite from this perspective was seeing why madoka went godoka more clearly

pmmm is infamous for "tricking" its viewers into believing it's a cutesy, lighthearted show. one of the ways it does this is through using madoka's perspective. out of all the girls, she is the most sheltered. after the dream intro, we see her morning routine of getting ready for school. from it, we learn that madoka has a responsible, hard-working mother that not only cares and loves her, but also sets an example of a good person for her

what would it be like if the show was centered on the other girls instead? sayaka and mami both waking up alone in their apartments, kyoko scouring for food, homura in the hospital... while madoka has a family and doesn't worry about food, the rest are responsible for their own well-being

madoka herself must be very aware of how privileged she is, though she doesn't say it. after befriending mami and learning about the loneliness and pain she endures, madoka easily puts away her own fear and confusion to comfort her. though madoka in this moment is powerless and unable to change anything, she becomes a symbol of hope for mami, long before she does the same for all magical girls

this pattern of madoka being forced to stay down and watch as the ones she loves suffers continues throughout the series. so many of the best, intense scenes take advantage of this tension, where madoka is seemingly backed into a corner and the only way out is to become a magical girl. out of these, the greatest—and honestly the sole reason i'm writing this—has to be the bus stop scene

though godoka was inevitable, i think this is the final nail in the coffin, the one that leads to madoka's ultimate sacrifice. being outright told by her best friend, "i am suffering in your stead!" as she can only cry because it's true.... (this scene and in general, sayaka's arc, are memed about a lot for how dramatic and over the top it is, only maybe because it's a "laugh so you don't cry" type of situation? it's the perfect breaking point for everyone involved: madoka and her helplessness, sayaka proving to herself again that she isn't truly righteous)

"it's so hard not being able to do anything" is a thought madoka must have constantly, and is a sentiment that is shared by her mother (!) in a hilariously unsubtle scene:

what i love about this scene, though, is that it shows the influence madoka's mom has. "you never were good at just sitting by and waiting" applies to madoka as well, whose original wish was not for herself, but to save a stray cat. in all the timelines homura goes through, madoka always chooses to sacrifice herself. she believes it is her responsibility to fight for those who can't. it's a hopeful, yet tragic philosophy

i can't say much on the "madoka is jesus" comparison that gets made a lot, but one thing is for sure: madoka was 100% just a girl... it's no wonder homura fought for her as hard as she did. in response to madoka's "who else if not me", homura is the "but just because you can, doesn't mean you must."

tldr. looking forward to walpurgisnacht: rising👍 (it's coming out this winter so it's a great time to get into or rewatch madoka)

more screenshots i took